While at Barnes & Nobles The Other Day....

I thought to myself...

OMG...I can't take it!

Are these mothers this happy staying home, cooking, cleaning, volunteering, baking, visiting, planning, chaperoning, hosting, coloring, painting, and doing endless things for their children without thought or mention of themselves?

How long does this degree of selflessness last?

Five years?

Ten?

Twenty?

Perhaps I'm just selfish...

But it just all seems pretty dull after a while...

What do they talk about with their husbands?

What do their husbands think?

Do they find this SAHM thing interesting, or is the honor and responsibility of fatherhood the only thing that keeps them engaged? Would they rather plan their next date night or talk about a new sexy dress and shoe combo their wife plans to wear on their next night out with friends? Or, would they rather have their wife do a quiet, sexy striptease, void of any child related banter, while the kids are stuffed in and strapped to their beds to prevent any interruptions...

OMG...I'm so immature...

Nah...this is just hella boring...

I mean...how many art & craft projects, pictures and posts, classes, parent groups, books can you read and playdates can you attend before they all become the same?

This mother next to me giving the tutorial on how to discipline kids and the 3 partially engaged woman are driving me nuts...

Don't get me wrong...I love my children....but there is so much more....

Forget it...no more justification...

I'm going down to the cafe for a latte.

Acceptance???

Wow...it's been so long....

Considering that I started this blog as a way to sort out or vent about all of my SAHM feelings/thoughts, does that mean that everything has been okay?

Nah...just haven't had much time to write...

Still trying to live up to the SAHM ideals and quell my guilty conscience that makes me feel terrible that my husband works so hard to take care of the family while, I would (in between my freelance jobs) much rather watch The Doctors, Oprah, or any other talk show that has some juicy gossip or self improvement message than cook and clean or handle some other household chore...

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I had a very interesting conversation with my husband about my ongoing struggle with SAHMhood...

While driving home from the mall after a slight vent session he said, "You know what the problem is...you haven't accepted that you're home with the kids...that's why it's so hard for you..."

And you know...being the super introspective person that I am, I thought about it and came to...he's right...that's exactly why it's so hard!

I can never totally accept it...

I like...no LOVE...

Manicures/ Pedicures, time with friends, late night girl chat, emailing, texting, facebooking from my Blackberry, wearing non-mom clothing, black lace, red nail polish, high heels and doing anything that is unconventional...

Yea...SAHMhood is for the birds...where's my Cosmopolitan and New York Magazine...I'm sure there's an article in there about balancing the life as a SAHM and the trendy ultra-sexy urban life!