Fight!!!!!

Life has been a bit hectic for our family lately. Who would've thought the most difficult part of my return to work would be the enormous strain it has placed on my relationship with my husband. The adjustment has been rough for Eryn and Grant, but it seems the one who is taking it hardest is my husband.

Eryn has moved on to a new Gifted and Talented school (which I am soooooo proud about). Grant began attending daycare (although only for a short while....he's now with my mom because I was completely freaked out after week 4), Eric has taken an additional ad hoc temp assignment, Sasha our Papillon, has decided that she's on her own and has to walk and feed herself because I am too busy to care for her lately and me who is working to get the rhythm of working again...

Anyway, lately it seems that my husband and I can't stop fighting. The strain of my return to work has definitely created a ton of tension between the two of us, not to mention that we are both too exhausted for any kind of regular intimacy, or that we're lucky if we are awake and at home for more than 2 hours together, during which we are both working to prepare our kids for the next day. I did anticipate a bit of struggle while we each readjusted to a schedule with me outside of the house, but I never thought that it would be this challenging. We fight about pick and drop off of the kids, dinner, groceries, clean-up, weekends, shoes, socks, cereal, shirts, dust, crumbs...you name and we've argued about it lately.

I feel that we are struggling because we need to solidify our schedule, but my husband thinks that I am selfish....

Could I be?

I mean, is it wrong that I am looking for a bit of support while readjusting to working outside of the house?

Is it wrong, that I am trying to make a good impression with my boss and direct reports?

Is it wrong, that I wonder why my husband would completely adjust his schedule and take on an additional assignment separate from his normal 9-5 while I am transitioning back to work??????

Eric and I always see things differently...

How did your family manage when you or your partner returned to work after being at home?

I Miss You All...

Yikes! It's been so long since I've written. I spent a wonderful NYC summer with the kids...and enjoyed it so much that I've completely forgotten to post! By now, you all likely realize that I am not the most dedicated blogger, but it enjoy it nonetheless.

Well...I've returned to work again, but this time doing something that I really enjoy, but miss my fellow moms in the blogosphere a great deal...

I once believed (and still do) that SAHMhood is a very lonely place, but after returning to work post two years at home and one of two women in my work group with children, I've realized that being a WAHM is also a pretty lonely place. While there are tons of things to relate to with the other young woman at work, the one thing that is most of who I am is a mommy...light years away from their trendy, expensive shoes, night club hopping, cocktail having selves. I definitely relate to that place in time where they exist, but feel much more comfortable in my mommy skin and with other mommys.

How have you all been?

What?

Eryn: Mom, I need my rabies shot.
Me: Honey, you don't need a rabies shot. You only need a rabies shot if you've been bitten by a dog with rabies.
Eryn: (Thinking) What's rabies?
Me: It's a disease that you get from a dog that attacks your brain and makes you go crazy.
Eryn: (Thinking) Well, maybe that's what's wrong with you. Maybe that's why your eye balls pop out and why you can't stop screaming...
Me: What?
Eryn: Yea, maybe that's why you get angry and start yelling at everyone in the house. Maybe you need to get a rabies shot!
Me: (Blank stare) What?

I can't believe some of the stuff that my six year old says sometimes...but I guess that's how she sees it. What's a mother to do?

Now

Sorry that it's been so long...I've been enjoying the summer and kids so much that I've been completely negligent of my business and this blog.

Over the last few months, I made a commitment to spend more time in the moment to get the most out of life. So lately, I've been listening, tasting, touching, smelling, reflecting and engaging ME in everything that I do. I've also spent some time organizing so that I can live in the moment and boy has that made life easier!

I've often spent time frustrated or feeling disappointed about some "thing" that I wasn't able to complete off of my Daily or Life To-Do lists. A few weeks ago, I realized that I spent so much time thinking about the "what I would've done differently" and "what I will do in the future" that I was missing everything that was going on around me.

What was the turning point you ask? Well...after multiple pleas for a game of dolls from my six year old, I realized that one day she may not be as eager to spend time with me, and could possibly want nothing to with me, and only everything to do with her friends as most teens do. So, I decided to take advantage of "now" because I may never get another opportunity to do "now" later.

How do you live in the "now"?

Now...She's Gonna Make Him Feel Special!

Along the "Make Him Feel Special" bit, I had a really funny and coincidental conversation with my cousin today, about an exchange between she and her huband this past Sunday. The following conversation below is based on my memory but you'll get the drift.

Husband: "You don't make me feel loved anymore..."
Wife: "What?"
Husband: "You don't do anything special for me like you used to."
Wife: (Thinking) "Are you kidding me? I go out of my way to do things just for you ALL THE TIME!" (But she says) "What do you mean?"
Husband: "You don't dress up anymore."
Wife: "Well..I'm always with the baby and it makes it some what difficult, but I'll try."
Husband: "And you don't wear heels like you used to."

(So at this point, I'm thinking to myself...this is normal. My husband and I went through this for a bit after the birth of our first child.)

Wife: "Well I'll try but it's kind of difficult with the baby here...you know I don't want to wake him up."

(So at this point, I'm completely confused until...)

Husband: "Well...that makes me feel special."
Wife: "Okay, I'll go buy some new stuff this week."

Can anyone guess what I'll be doing tomorrow?

LINGERIE SHOPPING with my cousin! She's buying some stuff to make her hubby feel special again! (I added this one to the tip box)

I will certainly consider picking something up too (wink, wink) but this is what I did for mine tonight.




What will you do for your hubby?

What If I Were Not There?

A few weeks ago...the most freakishly scary accident almost happened involving my 13 month old son. For the most part, I thought my husband and I did a fair job of childproofing our home and would've never thought of what happened on this day.

As I were straightening up one side of my bedroom and my son played on the other, I heard a sudden cry and what sounded like my son's normal frustration about a toy he couldn't reach. After walking around my bed, I found my son's head and neck caught in the shoulder strap of one of my handbags hanging from the door! I'm sure you could imagine the panic and rush of adrenaline that took control of what I normally call my body! Rushing to detangle him...in typical mother fashion...blamed myself for not considering the strangulation risk a handbag that previously hung from the door by both straps would cause. Then I thought "What if I were not there?" With the associated risks of window blind and electric cords...how did I not think of my handbag?

I am sharing this because if you are anything like me you may never think that something like this could threaten your child's safety. You likely run your typical safety audits with some checklist that you found in a book or other source and never in a million years consider your favorite handbag a culprit for harming your child.

A New Friend!

After a visit from a new friend today, I took a walk over to her place at www.fatnutritionwriter.blogspot.com and in great blogger hostess fashion were welcomed by a wonderfully relevant post! For those who know me, I am very concerned about my family's diet, but often struggle to find new healthy additions to our current diet...probably because it can't be done within 30 minutes! LOL! Well...now I think that I can, by taking a daily trip over to this blog. Oatmeal happens to be one of my family's favorite breakfast foods and despite my efforts to add fruits and different spices to spruce it up, it does become a little boring from time to time. Over at www.fatnutritionwriter.blogspot.com there are a few nice alternatives to your regular bowl of Oatmeal! Also, there are some great health, diet and food safety tips as well. I hope you check her out because I'll be stopping over regularly.