AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I am feeling really alone right now. It's 5:14 am, I've been up since 4:00am preparing for a meeting this afternoon with my boss and replaying yet another argument with my husband last night.

This time, we fought over the kids. I learned to appreciate very early in our relationship that we were raised very differently and immediately knew, my husband would be the perfect compliment to everything that I wanted in a family.

He's fun, loving, spontaneous, loves and respects his family, friendly and a little disorganized.

My upbringing was very structured. Tidy home, regular routines, a system of earning and rewards and a relatively consistent mother; although void of anything that resembled nurturing and/or loving behaviors. My sisters and I knew there was an underlying purpose of love and care, but it resembled more of a military boot camp rather than a home with three little girls.

My husband's on the other hand was slightly different, tons of love and respect (albeit tough love and respect) and togetherness.

Neither of our families were rich, or able to provide anything more than we needed.

When I had my children, I decided I would be a little different than my mother. I envisioned I would maintain a home that was clean, full of routine, toghterness, love and nurturing, but my husband on the other hand has decided that we should take another road.

Because we didn't have much growing up, my husband decided that he wanted to give our children everything he never had and that everything would always be done "BIG" as he describes it. Routine structure, order and all of those other things that are high on my list of importance fall to the bottom of his.

Okay, so in the middle of this post...he decides that he has to get up and begin cleaning out of sock drawer and closet at 5:30 in the morning....ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

I need a tall glass of wine....

So, my husband and I have to get back on the same page because our lives are no longer moving with the same deliberation and purpose as they once were.

I want to sleep or have quiet me time and he wants to turn on the light and clean....

I want to clean on a Saturday afternoon and he wants to sleep....

I want to put the kids down for bed and he wants to run through the house with Mouseketeer ears from our Disney vacation.

I put the kids in their beds, he takes them out and puts them in ours.

I say one snack per day and he's say three....

I just don't get it....

This is not what Bill and Claire Huxtable did...

This didn't happen in the Brady's house...

What the hell?!!!!!

Well at least I'm not lonely at this moment...and I guess I should take whatever he's willing to do and whenever he is willing to do it...because it may be a long time before he decides to pick anything up again....

Commitment 1

When was the last time you went above and beyond to do something nice for your spouse within the last 30 days?

I'm sure that we can all relate to feeling taken for granted or overlooked, but how often do we prioritize our husbands and do something to make them feel special?

Shouldn't we treat them the way that we want to be treated? (I know...you do things all day for everyone in the house.) But is there one thing that you do specifically for your husband on a regular basis to make him feel special? If so, I'd love some ideas.

In general, my husband is a pretty simple guy. He works really hard to take care of our family, doesn't ask for much and rarely complains.

Today, I publicly commit to doing at least 1 thing a week to make him feel special and most important, appreciated and promise to journal my efforts via this blog.

Today, I will let him sleep in (as long as he needs) to recuperate from his long work week.

What will you do for your hubby to make him feel special?

Indulging In Your Passion...

I know that I am going to regret writing this since it's about 11pm and I need to be up at 4am and also have an angry pile of laundry that needs folding...and tomorrow's dinner needs to go in the crock pot overnight...but I had to write this one...

After baking my first batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies this evening (I know....it warms my cheeks and makes me giggle to say this and admit that I had so much fun), I coincidentally came across a blog entry that a friend of mine had written titled: "Indulging Our Passion" at http://www.inspiremama.com/

I read this entry and reflected on my last post about there being more to SAHMhood...

She hit the nail right on the head.

That post was all about taking care of ourselves as mothers and wives...

Not indulging so much in SAHM/motherhood that we overlook ourselves as woman...

Indulging in the things that we hold near and dear...

Filling up our tanks so that we can continue to take care of the ones we love...

Nurturing our inner and outer selves....

Versus...

Sacrificing who we are and what makes us happy...

She posed a couple of really good questions on her page about discovering our passions which made me think...

What are my true passions?

I think part of my SAHMhood resistance is centered around my upbringing...

A bunch of woman who cooked, cleaned, took care of children, and served their husbands but did little else...

While I appreciate their efforts and how well they've taken care of me...

I always knew that I wanted to do more...

But there is a bit of a woman in me who is passionate about taking care of and nurturing her family's needs...and most important...whose passionate about taking care of herself while forging strong bonds with her children.

(I just want to do it wearing black lace, red lipstick, a fresh manicure and high heels...)

But seriously, tonight I rediscovered my passion for baking that honors a family tradition, shares time with my daughter incorporates my growing passion for photography (I'll take pictures of everything we make) while also creating delicious treats that my entire family will enjoy!

I didn't have on any lace while doing it but...it was a great time!

What's your passion?

If You Have...

30 seconds...give your kids a hug & tell them you love them.

60 seconds...select three pair of comfy undies that you will replace with three sexy pairs.

3 minutes...call your husband/partner and tell him you love him.

5 minutes...clean out and restock your diaper bag.

10 minutes...clean out and restock your purse too.

15 minutes...add your kids' backpack also.

20 minutes...plan this week's dinner menu.

30 minutes...clean out the car.

60 minutes...catch up on the latest episode of Oprah or any other favorite show that you've been saving on TiVo or DVR, while giving yourself a manicure, and having mindless chat with someone who is completely uninterested in talking about kids...yours, theirs or anyone else's, while reading your favorite gossip mag and enjoying your favorite glass of wine....we're master multi-taskers...and it is perfectly okay to selfishly use this skill on ourselves once in a while!