Saturday, September 25, 2010

Enough Time...

The return to work has been quite an adjustment for us all.

Thank goodness for my mom. She's been really helpful lately. She watches Grant during the day, picks Eryn up from school until I get home from work, and has been amazing while helping Eryn readjust to my time outside of home and her new school.

Lately, I've felt stretched thinner than ever and as if I have little time for anything beyond our normal routine and work.

Our six year old, Eryn, has been displaying some unusual (yet familiar) behavior. Tantrums, crying, yelling, bullying her brother and most annoying of them all defying my requests and direction. The defiance typically shows up when I'm in a rush, on time, early morning, late at night, when I have lots of energy, when I'm exhausted, at home, or in a crowded public place. You get the drift...during any hour of the day whenever she feels like it.

Thank goodness for Barnes and Nobles and the Internet.

After some searching, I reaffirmed what I knew...I needed to create more time for Eryn and display a bit more empathy towards her. The new school, new friends, parents away from home, new siblings,'s all very overwhelming!

In any case (without running on) here are my public commitments to helping restore Eryn's behavior by creating more time for her:

- Leave work on time to ensure a consistent pick up time each day
- Never bypass our bedtime story
- Take time to listen to what she has to say
- Respect her age and experience
- Create a more consistent system for rewards and discipline that my husband and I agree to - no more middle of the week "guilt surprises".
- Follow through on my verbal commitments to her (I couldn't count the number of times that I've heard " promised!")
- Prioritize time to do things that Eryn loves, i.e. board games, arts & crafts and family movie night.

Has your little one's behavior ever taken a sudden turn? How did you handle it?

Friday, September 24, 2010


I am feeling really alone right now. It's 5:14 am, I've been up since 4:00am preparing for a meeting this afternoon with my boss and replaying yet another argument with my husband last night.

This time, we fought over the kids. I learned to appreciate very early in our relationship that we were raised very differently and immediately knew, my husband would be the perfect compliment to everything that I wanted in a family.

He's fun, loving, spontaneous, loves and respects his family, friendly and a little disorganized.

My upbringing was very structured. Tidy home, regular routines, a system of earning and rewards and a relatively consistent mother; although void of anything that resembled nurturing and/or loving behaviors. My sisters and I knew there was an underlying purpose of love and care, but it resembled more of a military boot camp rather than a home with three little girls.

My husband's on the other hand was slightly different, tons of love and respect (albeit tough love and respect) and togetherness.

Neither of our families were rich, or able to provide anything more than we needed.

When I had my children, I decided I would be a little different than my mother. I envisioned I would maintain a home that was clean, full of routine, toghterness, love and nurturing, but my husband on the other hand has decided that we should take another road.

Because we didn't have much growing up, my husband decided that he wanted to give our children everything he never had and that everything would always be done "BIG" as he describes it. Routine structure, order and all of those other things that are high on my list of importance fall to the bottom of his.

Okay, so in the middle of this post...he decides that he has to get up and begin cleaning out of sock drawer and closet at 5:30 in the morning....ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

I need a tall glass of wine....

So, my husband and I have to get back on the same page because our lives are no longer moving with the same deliberation and purpose as they once were.

I want to sleep or have quiet me time and he wants to turn on the light and clean....

I want to clean on a Saturday afternoon and he wants to sleep....

I want to put the kids down for bed and he wants to run through the house with Mouseketeer ears from our Disney vacation.

I put the kids in their beds, he takes them out and puts them in ours.

I say one snack per day and he's say three....

I just don't get it....

This is not what Bill and Claire Huxtable did...

This didn't happen in the Brady's house...

What the hell?!!!!!

Well at least I'm not lonely at this moment...and I guess I should take whatever he's willing to do and whenever he is willing to do it...because it may be a long time before he decides to pick anything up again....

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


Life has been a bit hectic for our family lately. Who would've thought the most difficult part of my return to work would be the enormous strain it has placed on my relationship with my husband. The adjustment has been rough for Eryn and Grant, but it seems the one who is taking it hardest is my husband.

Eryn has moved on to a new Gifted and Talented school (which I am soooooo proud about). Grant began attending daycare (although only for a short while....he's now with my mom because I was completely freaked out after week 4), Eric has taken an additional ad hoc temp assignment, Sasha our Papillon, has decided that she's on her own and has to walk and feed herself because I am too busy to care for her lately and me who is working to get the rhythm of working again...

Anyway, lately it seems that my husband and I can't stop fighting. The strain of my return to work has definitely created a ton of tension between the two of us, not to mention that we are both too exhausted for any kind of regular intimacy, or that we're lucky if we are awake and at home for more than 2 hours together, during which we are both working to prepare our kids for the next day. I did anticipate a bit of struggle while we each readjusted to a schedule with me outside of the house, but I never thought that it would be this challenging. We fight about pick and drop off of the kids, dinner, groceries, clean-up, weekends, shoes, socks, cereal, shirts, dust, name and we've argued about it lately.

I feel that we are struggling because we need to solidify our schedule, but my husband thinks that I am selfish....

Could I be?

I mean, is it wrong that I am looking for a bit of support while readjusting to working outside of the house?

Is it wrong, that I am trying to make a good impression with my boss and direct reports?

Is it wrong, that I wonder why my husband would completely adjust his schedule and take on an additional assignment separate from his normal 9-5 while I am transitioning back to work??????

Eric and I always see things differently...

How did your family manage when you or your partner returned to work after being at home?

I Miss You All...

Yikes! It's been so long since I've written. I spent a wonderful NYC summer with the kids...and enjoyed it so much that I've completely forgotten to post! By now, you all likely realize that I am not the most dedicated blogger, but it enjoy it nonetheless.

Well...I've returned to work again, but this time doing something that I really enjoy, but miss my fellow moms in the blogosphere a great deal...

I once believed (and still do) that SAHMhood is a very lonely place, but after returning to work post two years at home and one of two women in my work group with children, I've realized that being a WAHM is also a pretty lonely place. While there are tons of things to relate to with the other young woman at work, the one thing that is most of who I am is a mommy...light years away from their trendy, expensive shoes, night club hopping, cocktail having selves. I definitely relate to that place in time where they exist, but feel much more comfortable in my mommy skin and with other mommys.

How have you all been?