Monday, April 12, 2010
Husband: "You don't make me feel loved anymore..."
Husband: "You don't do anything special for me like you used to."
Wife: (Thinking) "Are you kidding me? I go out of my way to do things just for you ALL THE TIME!" (But she says) "What do you mean?"
Husband: "You don't dress up anymore."
Wife: "Well..I'm always with the baby and it makes it some what difficult, but I'll try."
Husband: "And you don't wear heels like you used to."
(So at this point, I'm thinking to myself...this is normal. My husband and I went through this for a bit after the birth of our first child.)
Wife: "Well I'll try but it's kind of difficult with the baby here...you know I don't want to wake him up."
(So at this point, I'm completely confused until...)
Husband: "Well...that makes me feel special."
Wife: "Okay, I'll go buy some new stuff this week."
Can anyone guess what I'll be doing tomorrow?
LINGERIE SHOPPING with my cousin! She's buying some stuff to make her hubby feel special again! (I added this one to the tip box)
I will certainly consider picking something up too (wink, wink) but this is what I did for mine tonight.
What will you do for your hubby?
As I were straightening up one side of my bedroom and my son played on the other, I heard a sudden cry and what sounded like my son's normal frustration about a toy he couldn't reach. After walking around my bed, I found my son's head and neck caught in the shoulder strap of one of my handbags hanging from the door! I'm sure you could imagine the panic and rush of adrenaline that took control of what I normally call my body! Rushing to detangle him...in typical mother fashion...blamed myself for not considering the strangulation risk a handbag that previously hung from the door by both straps would cause. Then I thought "What if I were not there?" With the associated risks of window blind and electric cords...how did I not think of my handbag?
I am sharing this because if you are anything like me you may never think that something like this could threaten your child's safety. You likely run your typical safety audits with some checklist that you found in a book or other source and never in a million years consider your favorite handbag a culprit for harming your child.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
I'm sure that we can all relate to feeling taken for granted or overlooked, but how often do we prioritize our husbands and do something to make them feel special?
Shouldn't we treat them the way that we want to be treated? (I know...you do things all day for everyone in the house.) But is there one thing that you do specifically for your husband on a regular basis to make him feel special? If so, I'd love some ideas.
In general, my husband is a pretty simple guy. He works really hard to take care of our family, doesn't ask for much and rarely complains.
Today, I publicly commit to doing at least 1 thing a week to make him feel special and most important, appreciated and promise to journal my efforts via this blog.
Today, I will let him sleep in (as long as he needs) to recuperate from his long work week.
What will you do for your hubby to make him feel special?
I mean really built up enough courage to set your pride aside, open your mind, your heart, and your spirit...set aside your own perspective to look for deeper meaning in what someone else did or said to truly understand his/her point of view?
I ran into my mother at the supermarket the other day after a 5 month relationship hiatus.
Most of you will likely cringe (as most people usually do) when you read and process that I haven't spoken with my mother in over 5 months, but if you knew all there is to know you might...just might...sympathize.
My mother and I have always had a very strained relationship. Partially for lack of understanding...
Understanding each other's perspectives.
As a child, I could not understand her guarded, stoic, strict and impersonal demeanor and conversely I never felt she understood my basic needs to be loved, nurtured and respected.
As I grew older and learned more and more about her life, I worked very hard each day, to forgive her and help her find deeper meaning in her life and experiences, hoping that together we could heal her broken spirit, which proved a lot more difficult than I thought.
At the onset of our most recent disagreement, I accepted that I may never speak to her again because I couldn't deal with anymore of her outbursts, her lack of respect for me as a daughter, mother and wife and to shield my children from her inconsistent personality.
Day after day, I worked to put my mother behind me and focus on my family and self. But each day that I look at my children, and come up with diversions to my daughter's requests to "go see grandma," it grows harder and harder to release my relationship with my mother.
Deep down inside I know she's been through a lot...but it feels so unfair that I've always been the one to understand and constantly forgive. When does she take any responsibility for our relationship? I guess part of my frustration is around the fact that she never wanted to take true accountability for anything she's done. Not to me, not to my sisters, not to friends...I mean NO ONE.
I can admit that I am angry with my mother, but love her dearly.
I also love my children and make my own mistakes. How big or small, hurtful or not are all relative to them, as my mother's are relative to me. I could never imagine dealing with the emptiness of being without my children. But can I forgive her? How do I do it? When is the right time? Am I doing it for her? For me? For my children? I guess it's a combination of all three. The reality is that my mother may never be able to take accountability for her actions, but I need to release those feelings to become a complete woman and mother. My children need an example of forgiveness. It is my responsibility to help them learn to release what may hold them back due to an inability to forgive. They need an example for healing and moving forward...
Perhaps if I release my mother...I can overcome my constant self-examinations of how good or bad I am as a mother and can truly live, learn and forgive myself and my daily mistakes so that I can really be in the moment with my children.
But how do I do it?
Do you ever feel like a failure because you can't manage all of the competing priorities that come along with being a mother?
Do your children ever miss homework assignments, dance or soccer practice, eat pizza more than twice in one week, or comment on how "neat Grandma's house is" and how they wish theirs looked the same?
I get lucky some days and can get my daughter to and from school on time, are able to get dinner prepared and can get some other minor things done, but I'm looking around the house as I write and the piles of laundry I were folding over 8 hours ago are still not folded, there are still dishes in the sink, my desk is still a mess and the list goes on...
I felt "okay" earlier in the day knowing that I walked the dog, remembered to feed the kids and made an attempt to take my daughter to the park (she threw a terrible tantrum so we never made it), but I was okay knowing that I tried.
So as I cruise the "Mom Blogosphere" I realize that I may need to step my game up a notch!
How do these women manage to do it all while remaining sane?
Or, are they only sane as they write and go completely nuts when they get up from their computers?
Could anyone share their tips for getting things done each day because God knows that some of us (at least I) can certainly use them.
How do you organize your life?
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Have you ever wanted something so bad that you could taste and feel it with every inch of your being? Fifteen minutes for yourself? A bubble bath? A new pair of shoes? Or, a guilt free purchase for YOU and only YOU during a recent shopping trip?
Well I did...I thought I wanted my old Working Mom/Cosmopolitan Woman lifestyle back.
Recently, I had a wonderful opportunity to return to work outside of home. It didn't exactly work out in the end the way I hoped, but it gave me an opportunity to re-experience the life of a working mom...at least for a day.
Over a 10 hour period, it became frighteningly clear that it wasn't my old life that I missed...
It's very simple.
I just need time for myself and a little personal mental space.
I love my children and couldn't think of any better way to spend my time than nurturing, teaching and loving them.
Nowhere, can I find as genuine, loving and caring connections than at home with my kids...which is where I think I'll stay...at least for now...
Thank you universe for reminding me of what's most important.
When was the last time you realized something wasn't what you thought or hoped it would be (in a good way)?