It's been about 2 days since the last time I spoke with my mother, although she's called 4 times since then. My mom is great! She's beautiful, smart and funny, organized and meticulously clean, and has all the answers for the worlds problems, especially all of the things that I either need or should do to become a better mom and wife.
Once upon a time, my mother and I were inseparable living in the same apartment building, one floor away from each other. We talked about everything, we shopped together, laughed at the same jokes, and spent countless hours reminiscing about the past. I would say that we were the best of friends. However, I knew that we were growing apart when one morning she climbed down my fire escape because I didn't answer her call or the door. At the time, I was young and single and just started dating my now husband who stayed over the night before and just wanted a little privacy.
But then...I had my daughter five and a half years ago and boy oh boy how things have changed.
Nowadays, I set a mental timer on our phone conversations and often prepare a distraction before hand so that I can end phone conversations when she starts to remind me of all the things she did when I was small that would help me get my house and kids in order.
According to my mother I "should have all of this down pact, especially since you stay at home now!" I can't decide whether or not I'm most irritated by the timing, or if being a mom and now a SAHM is one of the most challenging things I've done so far. Usually her advice springs up during the middle of one of my 5 year olds' meltdowns, or when I make a simple statement like "I'm about to cook dinner." She will jump in and say "you should've had your dinner cooked already!" It doesn't matter if I make the comment at 5am or 5pm. If the comment is made at 5am, I should've had dinner done the night before, if the comment comes at 5pm, I should've been up at 5am to do it. If I say that my family is going out for dinner, she'll say something like "You shouldn't eat out. You need to make some cornbread for your husband and son," which always makes me laugh and say "WHAT???? What are you talking about? I don't have time to make cornbread!"
As I write this, I'm starting to think back to my childhood when my mother would get up at 5am to have dinner prepared and did have all of this mother stuff "down pact" but she was always tired and although she didn't say it, she wasn't fulfilled simply working and caring for her household which is the total antithesis of what I want. I want to take care of my home but also fulfill my personal goals in addition to the things I want to do with my children and husband. Slaving over a stove, cleaning house, changing diapers and washing clothes is just not enough for me!
If anyone knows of a nice single good looking man seeking Mrs. Right, let me know so that I can pass his info on to my mom. In the meantime...can someone send me the number to a house cleaner and some good take out restaurants in my area?
I'll talk to her in another 2 days!