Friday, November 27, 2009

Opposites

When I started writing, I said I would never post or share any of the intimate details of my marriage via Blogspot....that was until my husband made me MAD yesterday!

I spent 2 days (3 if I include today's clean-up), cooking and cleaning in preparation for our family and friends who joined us for Thanksgiving yesterday.

Due to the nature of his work, my husband had to go in for a couple of hours yesterday morning. As I was leaving to pick up a few odds and ends before our guest arrived, my husband arrived home. (Now, I know that its not easy working a full day and then helping with kids before you relax and whine down...but yesterday was what I would consider an exception.) So anyway...I met my husband getting off the elevator as I was getting on. When I saw him, with a mixed sigh of relief and exhaustion I said: "Oh thank goodness...I'm so happy your home. I'm going to run out and pick up a few things, but when I get back do you think that you could help me with the kids? I should be back in 15-20 minutes." He said: "Okay" and I thought he meant "Okay." When I arrived home 20 minutes later, what do you think my husband was doing? Out, replacing his cellphone! It wasn't until I called him to determine where he was did I realize that when he said "Okay" he meant "Okay, after I finish running my errands." At that moment, I was drunk with confusion and anger and couldn't decide what to say next. I seriously thought that my head would explode! I mean...I still had to do some last minute straightening up around the house (that of course was clean until two hours before everyone was scheduled to arrive,) get both kids ready, make three types of gravy and get myself ready....but my husband had to replace his cellphone!

At times it appears that we speak in opposites. I say "Can you help me put the kids to sleep?" and he hears, "You should go to sleep." Or, I ask that he helps make our daughter a sandwich, he hears "Go eat a sandwich." Perhaps, I should ask him to eat a sandwich when I want him to make one for our daughter, or ask him to dirty the dishes when I want him to wash the dishes...

We have these communication blips often and it makes me wonder if I make this SAHM stuff look easy? Or, does my husband finds it difficult and would rather avoid it?

2 comments:

  1. :)breathe . . .
    Yes you do make it look easy and you have everything under control. Your husband/my husband/most husbands don't understand what we go through between working and maintaining a household and taking care of their needs, and our own. We are master multitaskers, if we needed to replace our cellphones we would have taken the kids with us its automatic, they don't think like that. My husbands constant complaint to me is I bombard him with tasks as soon as I see him, like, clean this, pay this tomorrow, move my car, wash my car, pay for parking, get gas, dr appointments etc. He lets me know he has his own errands also, which I don't even think about. So I said I will not bombard him anymore so when he asks me to do something I give him 3 "to do's" if he asks why isn't dinner done, I say well, you can do HW and study, bathe the kids, get them in bed, set their clothes out for tomorrow, and move my car for alternate side, and walk the dog, then I will have time to make dinner. Otherwise don't ask/expect anything extra, I do enough already. Around the holidays it gets even more complicated to juggle time and tasks. I have learned to just do what I can and not try to over do anything, I would have made one gravy and called it a day. My sanity is more important to maintain than giving others gravy options :)
    This seems like Chronicles of a WIFE and SAHM :) Good blog, as usual!

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  2. Gosh, I am so sorry. Make sure to take some time to sit and talk with him and let him know how you feel and what you need. Good lucK

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