(I'll keep this brief...since I'm in the middle of folding laundry, fielding my 13 month old who's taking great joy in pulling folded piles to the floor, while reminding my 6 year old about personal space since she seems to forget the definition whenever I sit down at my computer desk...)
Have you ever wanted something so bad that you could taste and feel it with every inch of your being? Fifteen minutes for yourself? A bubble bath? A new pair of shoes? Or, a guilt free purchase for YOU and only YOU during a recent shopping trip?
Well I did...I thought I wanted my old Working Mom/Cosmopolitan Woman lifestyle back.
Recently, I had a wonderful opportunity to return to work outside of home. It didn't exactly work out in the end the way I hoped, but it gave me an opportunity to re-experience the life of a working mom...at least for a day.
Over a 10 hour period, it became frighteningly clear that it wasn't my old life that I missed...
It's very simple.
I just need time for myself and a little personal mental space.
I love my children and couldn't think of any better way to spend my time than nurturing, teaching and loving them.
Nowhere, can I find as genuine, loving and caring connections than at home with my kids...which is where I think I'll stay...at least for now...
Thank you universe for reminding me of what's most important.
When was the last time you realized something wasn't what you thought or hoped it would be (in a good way)?
This happens to me all the time...and I think we all have a tendency to think that the grass is a little greener on the other side! I don't regret my former job but just miss certain parts of it, like socializing with other adults! My daughter is 8 months, and I'm still working on the "me" time thing...Found you through MBC, look forward to checking back!
ReplyDeleteA relationship...I wanted it so badly I could taste it, taste him...when it didn't work out I was devastated but in hindsight I am grateful that the Universe didn't grant me my wishes then because I needed the time for me. I thought I knew myself until that happened, then I found new facets of my being that I absolutely love. I am now discovering my authentic self and as the McD's theme song goes "da da da da da I'm luvn it!" ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks Shannon. It's so good to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. I definitely know about the need for "me" time and understand how difficult remembering to prioritize it can be with all that we do each day! I can't wait to see you here again and will be right over to check you out.
ReplyDeleteMandy - isn't it funny that our greatest lessons can be learned from our greatest disappointments? Getting to know your authentic self is great and will probably prepare you for the relationship your are meant to have.
ReplyDeleteGood luck on your self-discovery and I'll keep my eye out for you! ;-)
I've been wanting to call you and ask you how you liked your new job and how it was working out. It's great that you went out and got the job because it's what you thought you wanted. And it's even better that you had the insight to realize that it wasn't really what you wanted.
ReplyDeleteI can really relate to needing the personal mental space. I think it's key to happiness as a stay at home mom. We spend so much time focused on our family throughout the day and night.
Yes I wanted to be home watching every breath my children take, seeing their first smile, their first steps, not letting them cry, getting all the laundry done, keeping an immaculate home like my grandmother's home. HAHAHAHAHAHA, no thank you! I like my break called work, my train ride so I can read, and the 10 minutes after I park my car before I get the children. I have a new found respect for SAHM's and Babysitters who do this on a regular basis! I did it for 4 months on maternity leave and got bored and exhausted real quick! :)
ReplyDelete